homemyweb

Start communicating again. Sometimes the marriage is in the stage of not talking any more. This may be due to the build up resentment and fear that each conversation is going to lead to a fight or an argument. First, get back into communication with each other. You might have to be the one who initiate it. Here is how you do that. Find some behavior that you did in the past that did not work and be responsible for it. You can apologize and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes your spouse may forgive right away. Sometimes it takes them releasing their anger by talking or screaming for some time to be able to let go. Be there to listen to what they have to say without making it something personal and getting your buttons pushed. If you can do that your spouse would have said what they needed to say and will come to a place where they can let go of the hurt and resentment.

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Have the heart to be generous. Granted that the current situation was brought about by both sides interacting with each other. Now if you look into the future, and taking both of your current reactions into the future, what is likely to happen? More fights, more intense arguments, more upsets, resentments piling up, and more strain on the marriage? Now how do you turn around that? Be the first to step up and take charge. If your spouse screams at you, provide them with understanding and acceptance that they are venting their anger and it is not personal. (If it was someone else rather than you standing there, and it’s the same circumstance, your spouse would have done the same thing, unfortunately or not, it’s you standing there). If your spouse blames you or finger point at you about something, find a way to be responsible without reacting. If you spouse has some resentment from the past, apologize and ask for forgiveness. If you do this consistently, what do you think will happen to your spouse and your marriage? Would they be able to stay angry for long when you respond back in this way and have the heart to be generous? Pretty soon, all their past grudges would disappear and they would return to their true self where love naturally exuberates from them. You might be pleasantly surprise when they start asking for forgiveness on their part too.

Now you get you are the one who is able to make your marriage work, even though you may be the only side currently interested. Start mending your marriage today, before it’s too late. Good luck!